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Monday, 25 August 2014

The Way A Man Should Be!

Salam Sihat Semua,

Saya doakan semuanya baik baik, dapat rezeki yang baik dan dapat hari yang baik. 


Entri kali ini sebab tengah melihat gambar anak lelaki saya #dakhasan sambil berangan nak jadikan dia khalifah yang berjaya membimbing kami sekeluarga. Cheewah, tinggi angan-angan.

Tiba-tiba ada kawan kongsi article ini yang menusuk hati sebagai orang perempuan.

Kalau untuk lelaki, memang berterabur jantung.

Ramai lelaki luar sana ada title atau position ini.
Ramai juga yang mendabik dada bila ada kedudukan ini.

POSITION: Suami aka Ketua Keluarga aka Pemimpin aka Ketua

Tapi ramai dah jauh cara praktikal kalau nak dibandingkan erti sebenar lelaki Muslim yang Nabi (SAW) sarankan.

Saya fikirkan mungkin faktor cara didikan yang salah dari awal. Di mana society banyak manjakan anak lelaki dari perempuan dari segi perkerjaan kehidupan seharian. Sampai ada nak basuh seluar dalam sendiri pun  tak tahu.

Dan mungkin juga sebab kaum wanita zaman sekarang banyak terror serba serbi. ( ini bukan issue feminism). Semua benda dia nak buat. Tak bagi can langsung.

Contoh yang terdekat ialah saya lihat business online macam Shaklee pun memang dimonopoli kaum perempuan.

Secara keseluruhannya saya lihat peranan lelaki mula terbalik sejak akhir-akhir ini.

Tu belum lagi sentuh lelaki nak jadi perempuan. Itu simpan bab lain.

Ini dari sumber yang dipercayai

(From : Islamic Research Foundation International, Inc)

Our beloved Nabi SAW was not EVER lazy, so why the men of this ummah?

What a Muslim husband should be like...

1- Dress up for your wife!

 look clean and smell good. 

When was the last time you went shopping for designer pyjamas? 

Remember that Nabi (SAW) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2- Use the best names for your wife

Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3- Don't treat her like a fly

We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. 

Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him.

Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4- If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment!

(And i like this!!!)

This is one of the ways Nabi (SAW) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (R.A). 

It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5- Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often.

Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. 

Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling.

Remember also those Ahadith when Nabi (SAW) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salaah, even when he was fasting.

6- Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! 

Nabi (SAW) use to help his wives with the housework, he mended his own clothes, and patched his own footwear. 

Never forget –what your wife does for you without any assistance is actually out of her goodness, much of the tasks today’s wife does is actually a favour to you! 

Acknowledge it. Be grateful.

7- Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. 
times in your life.

You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those 

8- Don't belittle her desires. 

Comfort her. 

Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives.

 Nabi (SAW) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (R.A) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9- Be humorous, play games, jokes around with your wife, surprise her with gifts 
Nabi (SAW) encouraged the giving of gifts. Look at how would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert.

When was the last time we did something like that?

(Syukran that i have a husband that loves to joke around. Only to find out, he laughes the loudest)

10- Don’t ever refer to your wife in the third person, & never in a negative or mocking manner, even if you are right. 

Remember she is the mother of your children. She deserves their respect & honour more than anyone else in the world. 

Don’t promote & advertise yourself as better than her. Let Allah be the judge. Protect her dignity.

Woman was not made from man’s head to be superior over, Nor his feet to be trampled on. She emerged from his side to walk next to, from under the arm to be protected, & from near the heart to be loved & valued…

11- Don’t feel intimidated by your woman’s strengths or aptitude, admire her, & treat her as an equal as in the eyes of Allah. 

Encourage her, support her, & be there for her. Allah has not granted superiority of one over the other, but rather has assigned each different tasks according to the uniqueness of His male and female creation. 

Nabi (SAW) has said that if he would have commanded bowing to any other aside from Allah, it would have been the wife to the husband. This is not a matter to inflate your ego, but to underline how much you need to do for her so as to have earned this status. 

Remember your attitude towards her would determine the depth of her love for you, her appreciation, and the warmth of her behaviour towards you.   
12-Don’t be a “ruler”

Be a mediator; compassionate, loving, understanding, compromising.

This is what wins a woman’s heart, nothing more, nothing less…

Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger (SAW): 'The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.' Try to be the best!

13-  Every time you see your wife don’t order her to do something, Neither complain about anything.

She’ll begin to avoid you and your company like the plague! Stop finding faults with her all the time, she’ll lose respect for you. 

Treat others as you would like to be treated. Use hikmah (tact), be diplomatic. and be considerate. Do things to develop her love for you and strengthen the bond.


whose supposedly “better” at something than she is.

 Don’t praise other women so as to make her feel as if she “doesn’t-cut-the-cloth”. This spells disaster for her self-confidence, and stunts love between spouses. She’ll begin to feel inferior, and in her desire to live up to your expectations, she’ll soon feel taken for granted, because you’d never recognise her attempts, but always find something else that’s not right or needs to be bettered. 

Your wife will soon begin to despise you, she’d feel like your servant, a wall-fly, because it’s always “so hard to please you” and you’re “never satisfied”! So please be cognisant of this habit!

In conclusion: Everyone has weaknesses, find agreeable ways of working around them together. Never forget to make Dua to Allah - ta'ala to make your marriage successful.


This article reminds me how to raise my son in a correct Muslim way.


Mommy with his new mission with #dakhasan

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