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Thursday, 5 June 2014

Gossip is Destructive




What's your opinion of gossip? Do you like it? Do you love to be part of it? I do and I really enjoy being among a group of people who share the story, analysing it and try to apply it in daily life. What should one do and one shouldn’t do that etc etc. An act of wise woman konon! 


Now let me turn the questions.


Do you like to be the subject of the gossip?

How is it feel if the gossip is about you?

Do you like to hear people say things about you and you know it is not the way it happened?


My dear kids,

For me gossip is destructive. It can be one of the down parts in your life. You feel that you should stand up and correct the story and the people. Even worse while fixing the story, people misinterpreted it and somehow the story is way out of line. By the end of the day, you feel helpless to and just let it go.



How can it be? I mean you try every possible way to fix it and those people are not stranger but your love one. How can it be so hard to remedy it?

I searched for an answer and finally these articles hit me. I changed the original version to more suit our culture. Apparently, nothing much you can do as there are 3 different types of people who gossip:



1. The “Kesian kat Dia” gossip.

This is the person who has something kind of mean to say about somebody but they don’t want to appear to be spreading gossip, so they always use this kind of  “kesian kat dia.”

They say things like: “You know Aziz? Well his wife left him because he has this financial problem that she didn’t know about. And he got fired from his job. But, he’s trying as hard as he can. Kesian kan kat dia”


2. The “Astro Berjalan” gossip.

These are the people who just love to talk and they just kind of talk because that’s what they do. This type of gossip says things like: “Did you hear that the couple are quarrelling again?” or “Do you know about Maria? Nampak selalu gaduh, cam nak bercerai” or “I hear Suhana is pregnant.”

This type of person isn’t too worried about accuracy either. They just feel it is their duty to inform everyone about other people’s lives.


3. The “I’m just telling the truth” gossip.

This person says things like: “Just telling the truth. If they didn’t want anybody to know, they shouldn’t have said anything. Right? I’m just telling the truth. I’m just throwing it out there.”

Just because something is true does not give us permission to share it with others.

Here, we need to check our motives when sharing a story. If we are sharing it with the motive to hurt the person or just because we want to be the first to share the juicy news – our motive is bad and we shouldn’t be sharing at all.

‘Terlajak perahu boleh berundur walaupun takde gear gostan tapi terlajak kata?’

People are still talking about it and I felt so dismal for a week. My mistake was trying hard to correct the story and clear my taint reputation. It drained my energy and positive vibe by doing so. It was a good attempt but the result was almost nothing.


In the end, you know what is the BEST way out? Let It Go like the Elsa’s song. Just let it go. It is almost the best mean to heal your wound.


To my beloved kids, may my story here be a good lesson for you to handle it better than mommy. These also serve a note for me, next time!

Mommy in depressing mode coz words has killed her good heart!

080514



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